clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
