Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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