i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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