She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
