I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
