Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
