Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
operation have a gay friend backfired
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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