we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
