All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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