I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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