Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
