You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize