Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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