its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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