what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
