she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
