stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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