And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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