Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
