508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize