This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
