look no pants
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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