similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
