i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
True college students do jello shots in the library
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
