dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
