not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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