I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
