Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
