I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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