I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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