Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
