just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
