Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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