i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
