If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
