so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
