I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
