Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
