I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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