You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
