In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
