never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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