Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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