I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
