I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
