Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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