I accidentally had phone sex last night
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
