i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize