I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
