brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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