she was so not down for the gang bang
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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