I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
