I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
