I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
