im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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