it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
