i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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