he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
