First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
