The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
