Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
