Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
